Even though it happened over 20 years ago, I still remember my first speeding ticket.
I had been in Ohio visiting family, and I was on my way back to PA. I don’t know that I was in a huge hurry for any particular reason, but I wasn’t dilly-dallying either. I was by myself, and I wanted to get back home at a reasonable hour. So, I was pushing it a bit. You know…save a few minutes by going a little faster. There I was zipping down a hill on I-70 in West Virginia when I saw the flashing lights. I knew I was in trouble. I had been caught. Here came the ticket.
Now, I don’t harbor any ill will towards that officer. They were just doing their job. However, a 45mph speed limit on a major interstate, on the downgrade of a large mountain, just before it turns into 70mph? They are setting you up to fail. Regardless. I was speeding, and I got a ticket. A couple hundred bucks to a guy fresh out of college working as a counselor was no small chunk of change. It was a big deal. I remember that occasion.
The next ticket came within a year or so. Similar situation. This time, I was headed to my grandparents in New York. I was driving backroads up from Latrobe to Lakewood, NY, enjoying the view, but going fairly slow because the roads were windy. Eventually, I hit a straight stretch going downhill. I let the car speed up, I felt the wind through the sunroof, I was enjoying the ride…until, I saw the lights. Again, a 45mph zone. Again, going downhill. Again, an officer doing their job. Again, a couple hundred bucks for a guy who was working hard to try to cover expenses. It was a big deal.
Speeding tickets.
They affected the way that I drive.
After I received a couple of them, I decided that driving that fast wasn’t really worth the risk. Sure, I could get places quicker, but it would come at the risk of owing money that I couldn’t afford to pay. The tickets would not just dip into the ice cream fund, they could put a damper on the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as well. After those couple of tickets, I slowed down (especially in downhill, 45mph zones…police like to watch those things). I slowed down because I feared the consequence. I didn’t want any more tickets.
Now, I won’t say that I drove or drive perfectly. I won’t say that I’ve never pushed the speed a bit since then. I won’t say that I no longer like going fast. All of that would be untrue. But, for the most part, I slowed down. I didn’t want another speeding ticket. I was fearful of the police handing out a consequence, so I modified my behavior. I changed my driving patterns out of a desire to avoid consequence. In some ways, you could say that my behavior changed out of fear. I was afraid of getting caught, so I drove slower.
I think that we often approach our relationship with God in this manner (or at least I have approached God in this manner). We really want to speed. We think it would be better if we went faster. We really want to act in a certain way and say certain things, but we don’t. Why? Because we have fear. We try to “live right” because we fear the consequences of a heavenly police officer coming down on us. So, we come to church, we present our tithes, we try to quit swearing, we are faithful to our partner in marriage, we don’t drink like we used to, etc…all because we don’t want to get caught again. We know the ticket is large. It’s a cost we’re not willing to pay. And so we smile, we behave, we go forward all the while wishing we could just speed along at 100mph (I wasn’t actually going that fast…even though I probably wanted to). We know there’s a God, that God has established rules, and so we try to follow the rules so we don’t get pulled over by the Great, Big, Police Officer in the sky. We live the way we live to avoid consequence.
Fear of consequence can change behavior, but it rarely gets to the root issue.
I may not speed in a 45mph zone downhill because I don’t want to get caught, but how fast do you think I’d go if I knew all of the officers were on vacation? If somehow I knew that it was an open road with no limitations, do you think I’d go slow if I was just worried about escaping punishment? Of course not! I’d see how fast that puppy could move. I’d push whatever ride I had to the max and wish I had something a bit faster. Once the fear of consequences had been removed, I’d return to my previous actions. Fear of consequences can change behavior, but it rarely gets to the root, to the core. It rarely gets to the deeper issues.
Do you want to know what has a deeper, more lasting effect?
Love.
I remember another driving experience even better than I remember those tickets. The first time that I drove Silas home.
Christa and I were first leaving the hospital, and we had to get Silas loaded into the car. He was in a blue car seat with a handle that you could carry, and we were responsible for getting him home. No experience. No qualifications. No real training. Just, “Here’s your kid. He’s your responsibility now. Take him home.” We quadruple-checked to make sure we had that car seat fastened correctly. We prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Thoughts flashed through my mind. “How could we be responsible for this life? How am I supposed to get him home? You mean he doesn’t come with an instruction manual?”
Do you know what else happened? I drove slow.
All of the sudden, I wasn’t just responsible for my own well being, or the well being of my wife in our car. I was responsible for Silas. I was responsible for this precious little baby who had his entire life ahead of him. I was charged with driving and getting him home safely. I drove slow. I drove slow out of love.
In that moment, I no longer wanted to go fast. I no longer wanted to see if I could shave a couple minutes off of the trip. My main goal? Get this baby home, and it honestly changed me. My driving now compared to my driving pre-Silas is significantly slower…not out of fear of consequence, but out of love. You see, I’m still tasked with the responsibility of getting my son home, and saving a couple of minutes isn’t worth it. I drive slower, now, because I love that kid a ton, and I want to get him home. I drive slower out of love.
Just the other day we took a trip into Pittsburgh to buy a some stools for our newly remodeled room. Things happened, the place we were headed to for lunch was closed, the trip took longer than expected. By the time we were headed home, I was a little tired, and I was wanting to get home as quickly as possible. We were driving on the turnpike, and the thought occurred to me, “You could speed up a bit more. You could go faster. You could push it a bit here to make up some time.” There weren’t police officers that I could see. It was a nice, straight stretch, the car was capable of greater speeds, everything was lined up nicely for me to be heavier on the gas, I was ready to go faster, but then I looked in the mirror. I saw Silas’s smiling face. I saw the face of my nephew, Tommy, of my niece, Grace. I saw the face of my beautiful wife, Christa. I even saw the face of my father-in-law, Boyd. (We had a full load.) I didn’t speed up. I drove slow. I drove slow out of love. I was responsible for getting these people whom I love dearly home. Shaving off a couple of minutes wasn’t worth it. I didn’t want to go fast. I wanted to go slow. I have been changed out of love.
1 Corinthians 16:14 says this:
Do everything in love.
That’s a challenging passage, isn’t it? 4 words. One command. Do everything in love.
Not out of fear of consequence, not out of fear of getting caught, or not getting to heaven, or owing some huge amount of money that you can’t pay, or for any other reason. Do everything in love.
Follow God in love.
Speak kindly in love.
Serve others in love.
Drive the speed limit (or close to it…) in love.
Perform at your job in love.
Make dinner in love.
Do the dishes in love.
Go to Walmart in love.
Have that conversation with your neighbor in love.
On and on and on and on and on and on and on.
Do everything in love.
Love changes things. Love can get to the root and transform the entire plant. Love can get deep within your soul and work within you to transform you into a completely new being. Love. Do everything in love.
Do everything knowing that you are loved by God. (John 3:16, Galatians 2:20, Romans 5:8)
Do everything out of love for God. (Matthew 22:36-40)
Do everything out of love for others. (John 15:12, 1 John 4:19, 1 Peter 4:8, Ephesians 4:2)
Do everything in love.
Just yesterday, I was reminded of this truth, to do everything in love. I had been at the church doing some work, and I planned to head to Walmart to pick up some things on my way home. Walmart is not my favorite place in the world, but I knew we needed things, and I was happy to be able to stop. Then, I remembered…the mask. Wearing a mask is not my favorite thing either. Wearing a mask in Walmart? That somehow makes Walmart and the mask worse. Still, I was reminded, “Do everything in love.” I could go into Walmart and be cranky and upset that I was walking around there with a mask. Or, I could put on my mask in love and walk through Walmart in love. Fortunately, yesterday, I chose love (sadly, I recognize that I have not always chosen this path). I made a conscious decision to choose love. As I put on my mask, I told myself that I am doing this in love. As I walked into the store and saw the person in charge of monitoring those entering, I greeted her with a smile (hopefully she could see it in my eyes), and the love of Christ in my heart. As I walked through the store, I tried to keep this word of God in my mind, to do everything in love. Do you know what? My experience of Walmart, and my experience of my mask was more pleasant than normal.
Do everything in love.
What might you do in love this moment? Today? Tomorrow? Next week?
~ Pastor Chris
