Have you ever started something only to wind up failing? Have you ever began something, with all of the best intentions in the world, and then you quit? Maybe it wasn’t a conscious decision. Maybe it wasn’t intentional. But, it happened. What looked promising, what looked hopeful, what began as something good, ended. Over before you knew it. Gone before it really got going. Stopped before you ever really got started.
I don’t know about you, but I have had this happen plenty of times in my life. I start off with something good. I start off with all of the best intentions in the world. I start off seeking a change, seeking something better, and before you know it, I stop. The change doesn’t last. The desire doesn’t persist. The thing that I was seeking doesn’t become a habit. Instead it quickly fades.
Sometimes this occurs with exercising. For the bulk of my life, I have had an on-again off-again relationship with exercise, with being somewhat physically fit. There are periods where I run…but then I stop running. There was a brief period where I was swimming for exercise…that lasted a couple of weeks. Push ups daily? Happened on and off in spurts, but it didn’t really take. It never really became a habit. On and on it goes. Start something. Stop. Start something. Stop. Start something. Stop.
I’m not sure why this is the case. Perhaps I was chasing after things that ultimately weren’t all that important to me so that when times got harder or when completing those things became more difficult, they just dropped off. They just weren’t that important. Or, maybe I have been seeking these changes using my own strength, my own abilities, my own determination, and I’m just not strong enough, just not able enough, just not determined enough. Perhaps I needed a partner, or accountability, or more of a reliance on God in these areas. Maybe there is another reason. I don’t know that there is a blanket answer that covers all of the different things that have ended. The fact remains that there are plenty of examples within my life in which I started something that I felt would be beneficial to me…only to stop.
It even happens in terms of my spiritual well being.
Take, for instance, Lent.
There are times when I have seen a Lenten commitment, a Lenten fast, all the way through until the end. Given up the chocolate and never eaten a morsel. Decided to do more Bible reading and honored that commitment the whole way through. Unfortunately, there are also times whenever I have not done as well, where I’ve bailed out prematurely (or never even started). I’ve had the best intentions to institute a change, and it never happened. I never saw it through, not even for a brief period like Lent.
So, how am I doing this year? After two weeks? Well…it’s a little bit of both.
This year for Lent, I wanted to do two things, and both things involved prayer.
One, I wanted to be more intentional about praying with people. I wanted to use Lent as an excuse to make sure that I wasn’t just spending all of my prayer time alone, but that I was also praying with other people, locking arms with other believers, joining in prayer together. You see, too often I can go at things alone. I can tackle problems by myself, seek solutions by myself, want to fix things by myself, want to change things by myself. I often pray by myself. None of this is necessarily bad, but it can be. Prayer time by myself is good, is right, is necessary, but we aren’t called to be the Lone Ranger. We need others, especially in our walk with Jesus. (Besides, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto and Silver.) So, with Lent happening, I prayerfully figured that this was a good time to see a change in that aspect of my life, to be intentional about praying with other people. Fortunately, to this point, there has been some success. Compared to the season before Lent, I am now praying with others more. There has been an increase in this area. For that, I am grateful (and hopeful that it will continue).
Two, I wanted to be more intentional about praying for people. In all honesty, I get too focused on me. What do I need, what do I want, where does God want to send me, etc., etc. If I’m not careful, prayer time can turn into the “Me Show”. “Me, me, me, me, me.” “God bless me. God show me. God do this for me.” That’s not the complete picture, I do spend time praying for others, but there is a tendency in my life for me to be self-focused, and this can happen in my prayer life as well. So, I thought that Lent would be a good opportunity to make sure that I was spending some time praying for others, seeking God about others, being intentional about praying for people other than myself. Specifically, I intended to do this along with journaling, writing down the names of other people and praying for them. Sounds like a good idea, right? Seems like a worthy Lenten pursuit. The problem? I haven’t done it.
Yes, I’ve spend a little more time in prayer for others, but I have not done what I set out to do. No journal. No names written down. No prayers as I journal. It hasn’t been done. I’ve stopped before I ever really started, and we’re only two weeks into Lent! At this point, if you were to objectively measure my success versus my goal, the only answer that you could come up with is that I have failed. There is no journal, no list. In this area, measured against that aspect of my Lenten goals, I would receive a big fat F. (I know. Teachers aren’t supposed to give F’s any more. Still, that would be the grade that I would have earned at this point.) F. No bueno. I’ve not journaled in that way even once. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Goose Egg. I’ve stopped before I ever even started.
So, now what? Am I just destined to be a failure? Should I just give it all up and not ever try that journaling idea?
Well, let’s tackle those things in parts. First, let’s deal with the “Am I just destined to be a failure” question. The answer to those who ask that question, myself included, is “No”. No, we are not destined to be failures for our entire life, nor should we be defined by our previous instances of failing. After all, Paul teaches us that “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37) Remember, in the context of the verse, Paul has been talking about facing death, and being sent to prison, and being like sheep sent to be slaughtered, and being persecuted. Paul is talking about many things that are difficult and harsh and would seem to be an indication of failing, of being a failure. After all, shouldn’t people who are identified as victors be free from all of this type of suffering? (This is often the way we view suffering…if I am suffering, then I must be a failure, but this is not an accurate, Biblical view of suffering or persecution.) Instead, even in the midst of hardship, Paul reminds us that we are more than conquerors through Jesus who loves us. Even when we have failed (or when others have failed us) we are not destined to be failures. We cannot let our failings define us. Rather, we need to be defined by who we are in Christ and press forward. As Philippians 4:13 reminds us, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Yes, I have failed. Yes, I have quit. Yes, I have fallen. No, I am not just a failure, destined to fail at every turn. Instead, I can do all things that Christ has called for me to do through his love, through his strength, through his power, through his spirit, and I can trust that I will be defined as being more than a conqueror through Jesus who loves me. The same is true of you. I have failed, but I am not defined as an eternal failure. Neither are you.
Now, let’s look at the other question that was raised. Should I give it all up, or should I try again?
Honestly, it depends.
Sometimes, we bite off more than we can chew or more than we are asked to do at any one time. In those cases, it might be time to recognize this and give up on a goal.
For instance, with exercising and being physically fit I have occasionally set unrealistic goals, too much for me to accomplish. I’ll start off and my goals will look something like this: Run ~ 20 miles a week. Push Ups ~ 100 per day. Pull Ups ~ 20 per day. Crunches ~ 200 per day. Drinking ~ Only water, minimum of 115oz. per day. Eating ~ No sugar, no carbs, only things that taste like grass. That might be possible for some folks. Not for me. It’s too much. I can’t go from doing 0 pull ups in a day to expecting to do 20. I can’t go from 0 push ups in a day to expecting to knock out 100 of them. It’s too much. When there is something that I have quit, a goal that I have not met, one question that needs to be asked is “Is this too much?” Was this a realistic goal, or was I reaching for something that is unfeasible? If it is unrealistic, perhaps it is time to set a goal that is more obtainable.
Another, more important question we need to ask is this: “Is this something that God wants me to do?” Even if we have set a goal that seems unrealistic, that seems to be too much, God is able to help us to complete it. God is able to stretch us. God is able to work within us to help us meet that goal. If the goal is something that we have failed, we can ask, “God do you want me to do this thing?” “God is this a plan that you have for me?” “God will this help me grow closer to you?” If the answer is “no”, then it’s time to be done with the goal, to put it aside, to recognize that we were trying to do something that we thought would be good, but it wasn’t exactly God’s plan for us. That’s OK. We don’t have to finish every thing we start. Sometimes, we try something, we fail, and we hear from God that we don’t need to try again, that God has something different for us to do. If the answer is “yes”, then it’s time to start again…even if the goal seems beyond our ability to complete.
With our walk with Jesus and the goals we hope to accomplish in him, it is important to be willing to start again, to be willing to try again, to be willing to get up after failing and start another time, and another time, and another time, and another time…even if the goal seems beyond our reach.
For me, journalling through Lent in the way that I hoped may not be the most important thing that I do through this season. It might be something that I wanted to add because I thought that it was a good idea, but it is really too much. Too much to add to my schedule, too much to change. Perhaps this goal (along with the other things that I typically try to keep up with in my spiritual disciplines) is just not the right thing for me right now. Perhaps I should set it aside as an idea to be tackled on another occasion. On the flip side, perhaps it is just what I need. Maybe it will draw me closer to the feet of Jesus. Maybe it will help me to be focused on others more than myself. Maybe there is a spiritual battle taking place over whether or not I will journal in this way. Maybe I need to start again and trust that God will enable me to do this discipline, even if I have failed to this point. Ultimately, that is a question that I need to ask of God, and proceed according to my understanding of God’s answer, trusting that God will lead and increase my prayer life for others, whether I journal or not.
Friend, I don’t know what things you have started and stopped. I don’t know what goals you have set (or if you even have a goal in the first place). What I do know? God loves you deeply. God cares for you passionately. God has more in store for your life. God wants for you to grow in your relationship with Christ, in your love for God, in your reliance upon the Holy Spirit. For your whole life, there is always more that you can receive in your walk with Jesus. No matter where you have slipped, where you have stumbled, where you have quit, trust that God can take you, even from that place of failure, and make you to be more than a conqueror through the love of his son, Jesus. Seek after God. Now more than ever. Even if it’s two weeks into Lent and you haven’t done a thing.
~ Pastor Chris
